i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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