So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
