apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
