Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
