Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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