This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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