dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
