Did you just see the Batmobile???
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
