why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
