My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Too much gin, very little bucket
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
