It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I intend to get homeless drunk
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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