Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
