and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
