...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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