Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
