Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
