Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
