you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize