I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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