In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
