Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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