I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have fence marks all over my body
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Come on in and take your pants off
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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