If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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