haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
