It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
