Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They took my balls.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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