do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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