There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
