Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
