sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
