i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
