She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
