The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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