Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
