he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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