My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
