just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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