She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
