Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
