I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
