so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
