Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
