It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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