I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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