i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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