HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
and she was petting her beer can
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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