I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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