my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
