she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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