The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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