In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My room smells like vodka and shame
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
