we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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