He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
