Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
