I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you would pick up someone in the library
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
