Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
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I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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