I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
