You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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