My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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