I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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