Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
